Is this a dream that could come true?

Ok, so my thought for this post kind of relates to travel but in a round about sort of way. I love to travel, that's pretty evident, otherwise why would I have named this blog Marcy's View of the World. But as I've said I "toil away" at a job to feed my travel addiction as well as my need for food and shelter! :)

So, could it be possible? Am I willing to take a risk? Should I finally figure out what I want to be when I "grow up" and find a job that I absolutely adore? And would that job be travel related or not???

I think part of my problem is that I want to seek out fun and adventure, at least my definition of fun and adventure, but the "realistic" side of me keeps holding back. I need health insurance, I need a place to sleep at night that's dry and warm (or cool when need be), I need a steady income, I need security, but I want to "play" too, and I think I'm trading off a job that I find less then thrilling (at the moment) for that security.

And security is not a bad thing. I like getting that bi-weekly paycheck and knowing if I break my leg or need to stay in the hospital that I have insurance to help me out and I've worked hard for the things I have, I love my house, I've got a car that's paid for, I can travel and I've accrued lots of vacation and sick time at work if I ever need it. BUT, sometimes I think "Wouldn't it be great if I could just toss care to the wind and find a job that I LOVED, even if it wasn't secure?"

The other issue I struggle with is...would it be any different if I did have a significant other? Would it be easier financially? I'm pretty sure it would be and I wouldn't have to painstakingly watch my spending. Or would it? I've heard horror stories of people's marriages or relationships that are just horrendous. So which way is better? So you can see my connundrum, well, it's certainly a connundrum for me.

I know, I know...after having one of my "pity parties" for myself I always stop and think, why do I feel this way? I have it really good. I do have a good job that provides well for me, I'm hard working and that has paid off, I'm finally, after years of living accumulating credit card debt, getting to a place where cash is becoming my preferred method of payment. And, look how fortunate I am to have a great little house and a paid off car, how many people can say that? And I have a terrific family and friends and get to do what I want when I want to. But my mind always seems to drift off into..."What If" land. What if I was married, what if I had a job I LOVED, what if I sold everything and moved to Ireland? Sometimes the questions just keep coming.

Is all this a sign of discontent? If so, what am I so discontented about? Is it the job, the single syndrone or any other crazy thing I can come up with at the moment? If I don't know, how can I find out? Am I a "scaredy cat", or is it that I take my responsibilities too seriously? Maybe one of these days I will figure it all out. But for now, I will continue to dream as I do, and when I am ready to make my dreams come true I will be ready to do just that.